FREE HAND 230311

Why hasn’t it taken so long to come to my senses?
Omnipotence, denial, idealisation…shields against the onslaught of reality…a moments hesitation…
‘Hello,’ she said.
‘Hello,’ I said.
She was speaking to a customer as I went in, and continued making his coffee saying that if she had a day off she didn’t know what to do with herself so preferred to be working. When she’d finished with him she started making my drink without asking.
No words passed between us until she said, ‘You busy?’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘Oh,’ she said.
‘How about you?’
‘Yes,’ she said.
We said more but the exact words unusually elude me as mostly I remember to the syllable the conversations I have and report.
Then I said, ‘What days are your busiest?’
‘Monday and Tuesday,’ she said. ‘For most people it’s the weekend but for us it’s the beginning of the week.’
‘Lunchtime or what part of the day?’
‘Lunchtime,’ she said. ‘Working people…’
‘…who aren’t around at the weekend.’
She smiled.
She put my drink on the counter, turned, went to and rang up the cost on the till, came back and said, ‘Two pounds,’ and held out her hand into which I put two pound coins.
'Thank you,' she said.
‘Thank you,’ I said.
‘Have a nice day,’ she said.
‘Thank you,’ I said. ‘Bye.’
I opened the door with my free hand.